Excuse me…I have something in my eye! *runs off sobbing*

I was 3 when I saw that, and it's one of the earliest things I can remember. I was too young to understand exactly what happened, but I did know it was very sad.

I remember he was supposed to be the voice of Zapp Brannigan. Now I can't imagine Zapp being anyone but Billy West…but if it had to be anyone else, it would have had to be Hartman.

I would appreciate if you didn't tell everyone about this opinion. Not so much for your own sake, but you are SO respected, it would DAMAGE THE AV CLUB! to hear it.

We still have that channel. It's channel 5! Except now it only shows 4 listings at a time and 75% of the screen is taken up by advertisements and the weather.

In elementary school there was a girl who looked Lou Diamond Phillips. We called her Chavez. Kids are so fucking stupid.

Did you know there is a generation of children who know Joey Lawrence and Melissa Joan Hart from their show together and from nowhere else?

Soy tercero, soy tercero.

The First Duty is good because it has Tom Paris, trying to make it through the Academy under an alias, so he wouldn't be connected to his admiral father! It's true you know.

Oh Wesley. You have ADD.

I like Wesley Crusher. But Wil Wheaton on Big Bang Theory (the only other place I've ever seen him act) does not inspire confidence in his talent.

My wife has been binge-watching Veronica Mars lately (again), so we watched the Veronica Mars movie. Spoilers? Everyone who cares has seen it, right?

If there is anyone who wants to be deliberately overheard in a Starbucks, a youth pastor is certainly one of them. Probably it was his idea to talk there, that way he might be able to accidentally-on-purpose evangelize to everyone else.

"Why do you look like Caesar Romero?"

I was watching The Hill last night, starring Sean Connery!

It must suck to be Peter Budaj right now.

The GO Trains at Union Station in Toronto, the Canadian money, and the Ontario driver's licenses and license plates kind of give it away.

If you get a certain score on the online test, you're randomly selected for the audition, which is an enormous pool of people. If you do well enough there, you're still in a huge pool of people. They can't take everyone who would hypothetically do well on TV, so it's just dumb random luck if you're picked.

When I was at the in-person audition, that was one guy's practise story. Not only was it boring, but he proposed at Red Lobster, which doesn't seem like the kind of story you'd want to share.

That was one of the few books we read in high school that I actually enjoyed. But I would never have come up with that in 30 seconds.