First I'm going to have a little drinky, and then I'm going to execute the whole bally lot of you.

Bent double, like old beggars under sacks,
Knock-kneed, coughing like hags, we cursed through sludge,
Till on the haunting flares we turned our backs,
And towards our distant rest began to trudge.
Men marched asleep. Many had lost their boots,
But limped on, blood-shod. All went lame; all blind;
Drunk with fatigue;…

The first one has the Witchsmeller Pursuivant, which is probably the best named character in all of television.

My mom knows Scott Moir's cousin!

I've only managed to do that once - the category was "The 12th Century", and I correctly assumed it must be Richard the Lionheart. What else would anyone ever know about the 12th century?

This is the most shocking outcome since the Netherlands won all those speed skating medals.

Drink up, Judah ben Hur!

Oh yeah, well, Tessa Virtue is still hotter, and isn't that what figure skating is really all about?

Yes! I am in love with all of them.

Haha what a story @oddfuturewolfgangpauli:disqus!

I never saw Big Trouble until I was an adult…same for The Goonies. They really suffer if you didn't watch them a hundred times as a kid.

The Wiggles dug up Leo Sayer from whatever rock he was under and did a partially-in-Greek version of You Make Me Feel Like Dancing with him:

My list of band names:

CBC kept cutting to the synchronized gum-chewing of the Canadian hockey executives.

Tessa Virtue supposedly had an affair with David Pelletier, ruining his marriage to Jamie Sale. Sale and Pelletier were the Virtue and Moir of 2002 (when they were subject to an actual judging conspiracy). She even kind of looks like Sale.

And you'd have seen the segment about Scott Moir's mom a few times.

One of Brazil's sleds flipped over halfway through, like Jamaica did in 1988.

France has a black figure skater, Maé Bérénice Méité.

But it's got a new hat!

"A". Abattoir. The cow was slaughtered in the abattoir.