I suspect she was that sister in the sorority who insisted on circling the pledges' "problem areas" in permanent marker, then snickered when they cried.

Pie. Someone left the cake out in the rain. I don't think that I can take it.

I do the SAME EXACT THING. Except for the main paging bit because I don't think I'm allowed to post to GroupThink yet. But sooo many times I've gotten way too rambunctious all "THAT'S JEZEBEL...I AM ON THAT SITE ALLLLLLL DAY!" as if I have a hand in its creation, lol.

I believe these burgers should be free-range, organically grown lentil burgers, salted with the tears of women in drug-free labor. All of us lesbian shit-asses deserve nothing less.

Internet high five!

I think the real question here is whether the nothing burger will be followed by cake or by pie.

I KNOW! I saw a thing on World News Tonight about the story and Jezebel's involvement and I shouted (at the dinner table no less) "THAT'S JEZEBEL I COMMENT THERE THEY'VE MAIN PAGED ME LIKE THREE TIMES THOSE ARE MY GIRLS MAN!!!"

Yeezus! Yes that's all women care about looking pretty and putting skanks in their place for being too attractive. Guess I'll go back to braiding my leg hair.

I'm on a low-carb diet. Can I have a dumbass salad to laugh at while eating alone?

*And* a handful of angry dudes.

We get nothing burgers and stupid lasagna today? We'll be halfway to a cookbook by the end of the week!

Can I have your no-news fries?

My tip, my tip!

still can't hear over all these nothing burgers

I CAN'T HEAR YOU THROUGH THE SOUND OF ME GOBBLING DOWN ALL THESE NOTHING BURGERS.

so help me god, when i first read the headline i saw "your vagina is a cave of wet hot dogs."

I AM PRINCESS VAJAZZARAL FROM PLANET MUFFZOR. BOW DOWN BEFORE ME OR YOU SHALL KNOW THE FIERY WRATH OF MY PIERCINGS AND RHINESTONE BIKINI AREA APPLIQUES.

Now, is there a certain diet that would make them produce recreational drugs? Because that would really get the party started.

Tracy Clayton @brokeymcpovertyFollow