to be fair, fuck the cardinals

Look at that home record. They hate St Louis as much as the rest of us do.

I feel a great disturbance in the South, as if millions of voices suddenly cried out in anger and were suddenly typing barbecue takes. I fear something terrible has happened.

God damn I hate their pizza. My girlfriend is from St. Louis and when I had the cracker pizza covered with Elmer’s Glue (I mean provel cheese) I hated her guts. Then she introduced me to toasted ravioli and all was forgiven.

I intentionally don't look at the Cards score anymore, so that these posts can be a pleasant work day surprise.

They have an upcoming road trip that takes them to San Francisco for 4, Colorado for 3, and the Cubs for 3.

I'm just honoring our greatest comedic loss under articles honoring other great losses.

It’s tough to beat a team you can’t even see on the field.

That’s the beauty of Cards fans...We’ll never know!

I genuinely think it would be funnier to watch Cardinal fans STILL whine about coverage of their losses. People who have no sense of perspective just make me laugh.

That’s just not true, a majority of people considered the Cubs the favorite in the division and the Cardinals a WC pick.

There you go figureing away ya little figurerererer

Citing Wikipedia as evidence is a concession that you have none.

‘Pedantic,’ she corrected dickishly.