Thanks so much for this. I am now actively looking to lose the ability to read.

GIRL, FULL BODY CRINGE. You are the hero we need.

I absolutely love it too. Gary is the definitive Dracula. Poor Keanu was the big stinker in this. He seems like such a lovely person, but he was so out of his depth. I had an old professor who said “Oh Keanu bless his heart, he tries.”

I fucking LOVE Bram Stoker’s Dracula, despite how campy and ridiculous it is (maybe because of, come to think of it). Gary Oldman’s performance is my favorite thing about the movie. I’m sure most millennials would say it’s utter trash and not be able to truly appreciate it for what it is.

What?! This movie was highly enjoyable and Tom Cruise and his wig were campy, scenery-chewing perfection. I gotta say, I’ve been visiting this site since it launched but I think I’m done. Between that ghastly “breaking quarantine for dick” article and the current writers’ insistence on writing entire articles sneering…

I would be interested in your thoughts about Bram Stoker’s Dracula, another 90s-licious vampire movie. The source material is a bit more high brow and Gary Oldman’s performance is quite layered. I thought it was a better film overall, but it was not as popular and well-liked as Interview with the Vampire.

Are you the same writer who wrote that trashy spiel on Father of the Bride a few weeks ago? My God, chick, you are on a roll...

Agreed. The whole “vampires are sexy thing” was not yet overdone in the 90s and the whole thing felt kind of fresh and naughty. 

This is one of my favorite films. It is melodramatic and imperfect, yet I still love it. My biggest surprise is that you felt Tom Cruise gave a bad performance. I thought he was quite excellent, especially compared to Pitt who seemed so mopey and wooden. Then again I remember reading that Pitt was going through a…

[Actually off-topic, but I need to tell someone about this.] Last night I dreamed I was walking down a sidewalk in New York City with Donald Trump. (Disclosure: I have never taken hydroxychloroquine, and I haven’t been to NYC in years. I’m not even American.) He kept asking me a question that I thought was something…

That first one reads just like a penthouse letter. “I lost count of how many times he made me cum after the 20th orgasm!” I’m sure it’s possible, but it’s oddly specific in that way that liars lie while they’re lying.

The name is bad enough, but the “fucking goddamn you” feels like you’re a warm body for a rage fuck. What the actual?

I mean I guess it also depends on where you are. Like where I live there are less than 100 cases and no active cases for the last two weeks. You cant really compare someone living here to someone living in New York or another bigger city where covid is more widespread.

I eyeroll Kate’s popularity because she’s the epitome of the “ideal” woman: white, non-threatening, no complaints, no opinions, no controversy, sticking to the pre-approved talking points, never showing off intelligence, never speaking up, always being nice, never going off script, always compliant with what TPTB ask,…

New word Friday!

I’ve been saying this for years. America has a HUGE empathy problem, and it’s finally biting us in the ass in a major way.

I think a big part of these protestors is that it all seems very abstract to them. People with these “values” have basically an inability to process empathy from anywhere exactly outside themselves. Since they aren’t directly affected by the virus they don’t care. It’s some nebulous thing that hasn’t yet made a true…

They can take our lives, but they’ll never take our haircuts.

There are obvious milestones of joy in our lives, like the birth of a child, marriage, etc. And then there are snapshots, like when I look down at my daughter cooing on my chest and tell myself “please let me remember this exact moment when I’m on my death bed.”

I still compulsively think “Double rainbow! All the way across the sky!” every time I see a double rainbow.