How would you even grab a pussy? Like a bowling ball?

This needs more stars. The saddest stars in the universe.

The WaPo has been buying ink by the barrel and I like it.

I don’t know why I find Billy Bush getting caught up in this as collateral damage so funny but, I do.

Fahrenhold better get ALL the Pulitzers.

The “bruh” has infiltrated all of the third grades everywhere!

I’m laughing so hard at this. Hey brah, I’m tired, can you tuck me in? Bruh, did you pack some goldfish in my lunchbox, bruh? Fucking kids. They are awesome and terrible.

I guess it’s a thing that kids are obsessed with, seeing if they can flip a water bottle and have it land upright. But it’s taken over junior high schools with kids doing tricks and competing. But really, it’s just this: https://vine.co/v/5gAFjE13WhT

Where the hell were you when I needed a headline for my dating profile?

I’m a fingerfan

I’m not a fan of any type of a woman who so poorly represents Bernie supporters as deranged and women as irrational. *Also* would rather support Trump than Hillary and went on a #NeverHillary campaign. No thank you! Go back to your ping pong crazy sue.

If you never have anything good to say about anybody, then come talk to me because you and I are going to have a fun time together.

If the way Trump treats his daughter is what evangelicals are looking for in “family values,” then what the fuck is going on in evangelicals’ households? Seriously, they constantly complain about Hillary but defend Giuliani (3x married, once to own cousin) and Trump (3x married, wants to bang daughter). Is their…

I remember that one!!!

Although that wasn’t a public restroom. But my mind immediately went to that story, which was years ago but made an IMPACT.

HAHAHA omg that’s the best description I’ve seen so far.

Gina Rodriguez is that social media friend who won’t stop gushing about her “King”, then 3 months later cross posts a cryptic message from Instagram like

I suppose if Velveeta is called ‘cheese’ then this is fine.

i’m thinking of starting a game with them. like how you ice people by hiding a smirnoff ice and when they find it they have to chug it. except i’m gonna hide the crocs and when he finds them he has to make out with me while i’m wearing them.