Moby? Because, geez... he’s basically a sentient, agoraphobic mayonnaise packet.

Comic sans font, green ink, a Mad Magazine fold-in for the back cover, Republicans will vote to acquit 

Oh, not just Satan! Immigrants, abortion-loving whores, The Gays, Muslims...the list is endless! One thing's for sure...it ain't MY fault.

I’m beginning to think that one of the main draws of evangelical Christianity is the ability to shift the blame to Satan whenever you do something shitty.

These people believe in Covid but also in their inherent superiority. Therefore, they probably won’t get it and if they do it will be either asymptomatic or mild.
 Other people will get the bad Covid- the poors and the browns and the foreigners (and criminals according to one MAGA I know). And really, who can be…

In the 80s I’m guessing one of those was coke.

Ya know, Trump could’ve done a biiiig bill signing extravaganza on Xmas day, gifting us peasants with manna from Mar-a-Lago and he still coulda done his monkeydance tantrum about all the things he hated in the bill. But nooooooo! Wait till you totally fuck everyone over. It’ll be interesting to see if he still keeps…

The last harumph.

You’re awesome, Key. And I looooove my ‘cheap’ life because “cheap” does NOT mean “deprived” or trashy. It’s about trying to understand what you really need as opposed to to stuffing that hole in our hearts with vanity-induced junk. And I apologize for sounding so self-righteous.

Dear Megan,

Clinton did the same thing. It's not surprising to me. 

Yet don’t ask for any help once you’re born.

and the people that shop there

Walmart tweeted at 6:53pm yesterday that it wasn’t waiting.

So, that’s why so many of them wear beards!

Trump’s plan is that you die. It isn't like you went to his inauguration. 

All he had to say was “I support the Latino community” go home, and drink his Ensure.

More accurately

I think it would be nice if we could get a list of everybody involved, and when they show up at the hospital with symptoms, tell them, “sorry, you’re responsible for your own medical decisions. Nobody would have even known you were sick if you hadn’t told us. Besides, more than 99% recover. Stay in your house.” Then…

The internet is fine, PEOPLE are the mistake.