One of the victims in the Houseguest video describes him as “translucent looking,” which checks out.

My mom is obsessed with bird cams and follows several mating pairs, including an albatross couple somewhere in Hawaii. She even texts me about their drama like I know wtf she’s talking about, but it’s actually pretty interesting. Keeps her off the street, anyway.

Someone in my office building restroom would drop used pads and tampons into the little receptacle next to the toilet without wrapping them in anything first. I’m sure the janitor was thrilled to clean that up once a month.

NPR went with the “Hello Alexander, I’m a smart journalist guy who appreciates just how brilliant your story is, which in turn, reveals my own brilliance.

See, I used to do the same thing but the pot is kind of heavy so it was a pain to shake. Turning the whirley pop handle is meditative.

See, I used to do the same thing but the pot is kind of heavy so it was a pain to shake. Turning the whirley pop…

The worm made him kill them all!

And people won’t pay for mobile games anymore so that angle won’t pan out for them.

Ooh, this looks delicious. I discovered yesterday that my yeast is old so I will be stress baking the excellent damp gingerbread recipe from Laurie Colwin’s More Home Cooking this evening.

Yeah, I thought it was weird when I heard the story on local news this morning but just more evidence that the cheerleaders are regarded as little more than dancing slabs of meat.

Does anyone actually enjoy receiving Edible Arrangements?

I convinced my little brother that Velcro was Spam fur, like one side was male and the other female and it helped them mate because they’re boneless. He didn’t figure out it was a lie until middle school. Now he’s actually a biologist!

You are not. My mom decided to make it one year to see what all the fuss was about and nobody ate more than a bite or two.

That’s insane. The door receipt checker once told my mom they’re fine with non-members coming in to eat the food because then they see all the cool stuff people just bought wheeling past and end up getting a membership.

That shit and the goddam Doctor Who video ads that defeated even my office Internet are seriously testing my blood pressure.

Even if you’re not a member you can enjoy the food court.

I hate to be that person, but churches have naves, whereas a knave would probably not be welcome at this wedding.

Ooh, can I pile on too? Years ago I was on a midsummer biz trip to Burlington, Vermont and the return flight changed at O’Hare. They gave me the usual connection window of about 45 minutes which normally would have been ok, except that a) I had twisted my ankle prior to the trip, and b) there was a huge lightning…

I buy it fairly frequently around this time of year and am asked surprisingly often what it is by people in the check out line. How can you not know? It’s so much fun!

I liked it. It’s short and doesn’t try too hard.

They made a big mistake in calling it “Presidential” alert instead of “National” or something else neutral since so many people seem to think it’s Trump-related. We definitely need these alert systems because nobody watches broadcast tv or listens to the radio anymore and you end up with situations like the Northern…