My body is shaped like cheese. Which sort of cheese? All of them, at once.

If it helps save company time, I'm willing to do yoga in a room full of puppies.

Oh, does the line start here? I shall join you.

SO MUCH FOOD and cutlery has fallen down that gap at my house I am terrified to ever find out what's going on down there. The gas hose thing is so short I can't pull the oven out to clean.

You never disappoint.

I went twice for insomnia. While the pins were in, and the guy left the room for some minutes, both times I FREAKED OUT. Borderline panic attack. So I didn't try a third time. I don't know why I wigged out so much, I have a minor needle phobia but didn't freak out for any of my tattoos?

I used to work for a transport department. The Licence plate team were all menopausal women. They used urban dictionary to determine if a word was obscene or not. If a word wasn't on there, they'd come round and ask all the younger staff members to see if it was some sort of newfangled slang.

Dammit, you beat me to the eggs benedict.

Hack job on thin hair? This is my current hair cut by accident! (growing out a fucktonne of bleach damage and late-night self trims/bangs/shaved bits)

Sadly the Indonesian word for rape is not Latin-based so he's got no excuses.

So I sourced it in Indonesian, hoping it might have been something lost in translation... nope.

Oh, I'm the same! I've been known to have breakdowns in supermarkets when we're trying to buy stuff for dinner and I JUST CAN'T DECIDE BECAUSE I DON'T GIVE A SHIT ANY MORE.

WHAT THE HELL. Way to show my boyfriend up :(

Edited because pointless.

Yes yes yes yes yes yes yes!

Some sort of designer pygmy wampa x bantha. God, breeders are disgusting. I rescued my two wampa/bantha mongrels from right under the green needle.

Oh. My. God. I watched this vhs on repeat. Hormonal awakening flashbacks.

Agree with number 1 &3 . I was having a discussion about public proposals with some friends and I made it clear those big showy public ones got my disapproval and I got the response " oh, so you don't believe in romance?"

I have this dude's book! Awesome photos.

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