There's a bunch of research on brain trauma and its outcomes when it affects the parts of the brain where language is processed. The interesting thing is that no two people are really affected the same way. It's super common for a language you studied at school to come back first, or even your mother tongue you might…

Goddammit with your voice of reason. That is literally the only reason I'm going to one of my work christmas parties, to see if the crazy workplace flirting me and a colleague have going on will be helped along by booze.

Yeah but English isn't a regulated language so really if enough people do it we can instigate change. Hell, we already dropped thee/thou/thine and just use the (ex)plural 'you' for all second person situations.

I think my favourite part is the fact that his existential misery is set in Surrey.

Can't speak for practicality but it sure looks fierce.

Got tattoos.
I got a tattoo, discovered the artist I had booked with was a bit hot, got two more tattoos with him so as to have a reason to see him again/have him touch me, eventually got a fun night out of it. ("hey I've just finished tattooing you but we're all going to the pub, want to come? *hours later* So you…

Oh, don't. Last shift we had 3 suited-and-tipsy entitled business men who couldn't appreciate that the 'empty' tables were for people who had bothered to book, and not for them.
"We come here all the time. We never have to book."
"That's great! However we have no space right now. You can try coming back after..."
"What…

This person is an internationally renowned academic in his field. Terrifying.

I tried submitting a list of tasks I had done/do regularly that are above and beyond my actual responsibilities to my HR contact suggesting perhaps my job description and salary be adjusted accordingly, to no avail. "Other duties as required" is a real killer.

I have had two great requests this week from the exec I answer to. I am admin, not even his PA:

And there ain't nothing wrong with that. (Amen.)

Customer orders negronis for himself and his female friend. They start drinking, then she comes up to the bar and mentions how it's very bitter, is it supposed to be like that? Unsure how well-versed she is in cocktails, we non-patronisingly explain that's probably the campari, which is quite bitter anyway, and that…

I was accidentally on a plane with them to Dusseldorf at the beginning of this month. I didn't recognise them at the time, but when I came out of the arrival gates I was blinded by a swarm of teen girls with signs and cameras and shirts and tears and then I realised who the scruffy looking guys that had held up the…

I did that last night SOBER because I was grumpy/distracted. It took me a while to even notice.

Minimum wage in London is around £6. So if you're working in a standard pub which has no tipping culture, you're shit out of luck. If in a fancy bar/restaurant, you'll be making tips on top of that £6 that will bring you to the living wage.

They share one facebook page, one phone, one salary. The uncanny valley runs deep with these two. In high school they were just normal twin-weird (dressed exactly the same and went everywhere together) but amped it up to the extreme after their dad died (hence why they now work in a care home - they looked after him…

From the Boston.com article:

No, ballet flats are not comfortable - they hurt my arches. But I physically can't walk in heels so what does that leave me with if I'm going out somewhere fancy? Ballet flats.

AMAZINGstoke.

Imma let you finish, but UTI is the best Tacocat song.