My favorite from the comments:

I love you all so much for taking something so very bleak and creating this glorious poetry-filled list. Reading Jez’s Trump descriptions has honestly been the single best thing to come out of this election for me.

Please please please please put all of these on a t-shirt.

You mean they didn’t really find a MTG Black Lotus in a storage locker full of broken lamps? I can’t believe this obvious deception.

Trump lacks the stamina to fight off his own assassin.

I live for Shade Court. Bless you, Kara for resurrecting it.

I hate to be the one who would disagree with Judge Kara Brown. But, I think the fact that Mariah Carey didn’t throw shade a some second-rate Australian tabloid was in fact a whole new level of shade. Only something that a handful of people could pull off. But, Ms. C has to be one of them. The lazy caption was…

Anyone else go through a brief grief period after last week’s GBBO finale? So sad it’s over.

Taylor has been my favorite since her first album. I don’t like all the hate she gets. She’s the queen of near rhymes and is a great story teller, she got me through a lot of weird times in high school.

I think it’s weird that there is so much hate about Taylor Swift who has literally done nothing wrong in her whole life other than succeed (and tell a fib re: “famous”) but no one is talking about Lil Wayne’s comments on Black Lives Matter. http://abcnews.go.com/Nightline/video/lil-wayne-controversial-lyrics-rikers-isl…

That dog is my spirit animal.

This election is so exhausting

yeah no way in fucking hell is he losing Utah County. The rest of Utah looks at Utah county and thinks ‘fucking mormons’

Something about him really chaffs me. I think it might be the rank political opportunism. Maybe the sheer waste of taxpayer dollars? The flipflopping because I guess while he obviously doesn’t think Latinos or Muslims matter, he does believe Republican-leaning white women probably have amnesia? What could it be?