Shout out to “hard-hitting”, the stress-violin sound effect of writing. 

Oh, Jezebel isn’t the one to talk about this.

Nope. Fight me about it. 

Cats aren’t a thing, really. 

Two Days Ago is still a hot live slapper

Reverse discrimination isn’t a thing, there’s only discrimination and not discrimination.

You don’t know what the dog is for - just that it’s a legit support animal these days if it’s on the plane.

I’m pretty sure the trope is that you’ll go blind if you don’t eat your carrots.

Sometimes you get what you asked for. 

Okay, seriously you guys. Chik Fil A is mediocre. 

Did we not already know this?

Wild sus to put this in the features more than a year after it was published, Kinja. Does this REALLY drive more traffic to the deals site?

“Help, I intentionally give myself anxiety every day why can’t I sleep”

To be fair, the best way to play FF VIII is to turn off whatever you intended to play FF VIII on and go outside. 

This is the logical extension of people who are “sensitive to _____”

You’ve lost connection with reality. 

Somebody read that Buzzfeed article from June. 

XXL Grilled Stuft Burrito.

Because Joss can’t suck his own dick for 16 actual years. 

Firefly ended in 1748.