“Okay, we’re willing to lower our price for him to a third and a fifth.”

Mmmmmmmmmmmm, long pig.

Based on Kelsi's Instagram, she finds Chlamydia kinda catchy.

Snyrted outlyd. Thynks fyr thy lygh, myte.

wow you are so right

Oh Jeez! I don’t know.

Stupid should hurt.

He’ll have to call shotgun. It was his getting up under center that got him into this mess in the first place.

One would hope he never gets to call shotgun again.

Taco Bell used to have a cheeseburger on its menu going back 50 years to when Glen Bell was still running his namesake company, the “bell-burger” that became the hilariously named “bell-beefer” after he sold the chain.

Not today. Today is National Cheeseburger Day, and I am a patriot, sir!

But, then, you’d have to see how the sausage is made.

Phew, looks like they got Ric Flair out of that giant food dehydrator just in time!

Somewhere, on a Breitbart podcast, Curt Schilling not-so-quietly wonders to himself: “Why couldn’t I have just retired with my career record at 88-14?”

I think it was revoked when he started praising Trump.

Dads with boats drive Cadillacs.

I look forward to a future article that begins, “Spider-Man’s uncomplicated approach to the effects of radioactive spider venom clashes with the reality of day to day life.” 

“No way you freakin’ pinko!"