Oh, right, because she has absolutely no agency at all and is in every way just an Instagram timeline that self-populates. 

stop

I’ll slap your mouth if I find sweetened almond milk in your shitty fridge that doesn’t even have the ice in the door what the FUCK are you doing with your life anyways? Is that a fucking top freezer?!

Damn. I mean, we all have struggles, I’ve been banned 3 times from Kotaku since. And where’s my Keytaku anyways?

Because you know he’s said the phrase “Mommy can I cum” at least 3 times during his adult life.

Meanwhile on Jez they’re posting about Osama’s literal momma

Is the dick big tho

(EXTREMELY LOUD AND AGONIZINGLY SLOW CLAPPING)

So, Bobby Berk is my spirit animal. Okay, I knew that already. Yes, we all want to be Karamo, but it’s not possible for us all to be Karamo. Some of us are Bobby. And some of us are the yogurt one, so it could be worse.

The real problem here is that none of her tweets were funny or offensive.

Didn’t Subaru used to advertise their auto shifter pattern specifically as a safety feature? I feel like I remember that being in a commercial. 

I can’t imagine anything that matters less, even if you consider games journalism to be the most important thing in the entire universe of time and probability.

How large was the glass?

Which one ODs first?

YEAH HMM WHY DID THEY

what is a cat

K

Why bother?

You forgot the Zeroth Amendment: “Eh, fuck it, close enough.”

I think this is a lot of talk for a game that’s still worth maybe $19.99 plus tax.