“The people I’m flirting with? You can be sure that I don’t want you. I’m just trying to make you comfortable, make you feel good, make you feel sexy.”

I would gladly make a contribution to Hillary’s campaign towards getting all of the people Trump has cheated (through both his real estate dealings and Trump U) together in a room to tell their stories, documentary-style. Then air the shit out of that program from now until the election.

Well if you’re going to fuck a dinosaur, you might as well fuck a model dinosaur.

lol at the baby dino’s face being pixelated.

in all seriousness emma thompson is the one person i would allow to slap me in the face

Hopefully the election outcome does.

I do use men’s deodorant. Mitchum’s unscented roll on. Not even because it’s cheap. Men’s Mitchum is fucking magical, and works way better than any lady deodorant I’ve ever used. I’m a sweaty lady, gimme the good stuff.

He also enjoys Dancing With the Stars, but thinks he is too good to enjoy Dancing with the Stars: “Secretly, deep down, I’d love to do that show—it’s superb. But—damn it—I consider myself too classy.”

Wow. And to think I’ve erroneously called it ‘Cleveland’ for years.

Just remember, they’re only a Socialite if they’ve crashed to Earth. If they’re still in space, they’re just Social.

America: you have just two skittles to choose from, and one will DEFINITELY KILL YOU.

10/10, would buy your trashy ladymag

Is it okay if I- white, straight, male- play this game, too? Because I like it!

23 body sculpting tips that will have your dad drooling.

Cosmo was in a perfect position to do this. Everyone, including Ivanka, thinks they’re a dumb ladymag full of nothing but penis touching tips and other questionable advice, but their political reporting is actually pretty damn good.

im less concerned with their size than i am with their cocksmanship - just because you have a nice car doesnt mean you can drive it.

It would be funny if in response to her allegations Lane Bryant just changed the shirt to say I AM YOU.

“You are you.”

he should follow his own advice - skew his views, and keep his lips together.

please send any dreams, hopes and aspirations you may still be harboring to brendan at this address: brendan.oconnor@gawker.com, so that he can summarily and expediently reduce them and you to quivering despondent ribbons, which is better than you deserve.