No, she doesn’t believe that! God!

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh, the purity test. Of all the ways we liberals shoot ourselves in the foot, this one is my absolute favorite.

I’m sure deep down she really respects your need to remain morally pure.

Sam Bee is not obligated to support your quixotic dream of remaking our democracy at the expense of our actual democracy.

According to Jill Stein, though, mailing support to the snatch is one of the leading causes of autism.

With all due respect, you are wrong. The entire existence of 50 Shades is justified by one thing and one thing only: The brilliant Jenny Trout’s Chapter by Chapter decuntstruction* of the book.

As a fat person, I would really like to see decent basics. A fucking white button down that doesn’t immediately pop open at my boobs. Jeans that aren’t jeggins- or “mom jeans”. Tee shirts and cardigans that aren’t priced 3 times as much as the skinny version (ahem-Old Navy) Just plain, well tailored clothes. Jesus, is…

Not if there is an opportunity to dress as a sexy Indian! Indians are by far the sexiest of all costumes.

As a Catholic and a feminist, here’s the thing that really bugs me about Bryan’s argument (and the Church’s views on sex in general): There IS a way to live a relatively carefree, full life, focused on things other than sex and babies without full chastity; it’s called use of contraception.

Uh, these are not people you should feel intimidated by. I mean, some of them have cool jobs doing things actually related to policy. Many of them are glorified assistants. Most of them will leave government to work in the private sector because they don’t make much money. All of them will get older, just like all…

I don’t think you need to feel that bad. The only reason a 23 year-old would be that connected in Washington was because she’s family of some important donor or someone high up in state politics. I don’t care how talented you are, or how good looking you are, no amount of talent or charisma alone gets you that level…

Ouch. He should channel his hair time into finding Pokemon or something because it is NOT working out for him.

Cameron Greene, 24, Democrat, staff assistant for Sen. Sheldon Whitehouse

Eat Pray Love

Modest proposal: The word “journey” should be used only to describe something that can be drawn on a map.

Look, that happened ONE TIME, ok? And it wouldn’t have happened at all if y’all weren't overfishing our natural food sources. Damn kid didn't even taste good...

Bullshit. Secularism is not about pushing religiously pious people out of the public sphere; it’s about maintaining a strict separation between public policy/institutions and religious influence, particularly that of the powerful, organized and anti-republican Catholic church. It is not about marginalizing and…

I haven’t changed my mind about Bob Dylan. Nasal voices are nails on a blackboard, essentially, and he doubles down on it, so it’s all of the nopes for me.

Yeah so if I find your sense of humor laying around I’ll be sure to send it back to you.