I read it as I’m going to pat his back until he gets up to make me a grilled cheese sandwich and then I’m gonna finish on my own.

And then the next question should be “What forms of welfare, if any, do you support for the 10 year old parent?”

Pleeeeease let “Would you support forcing a 10-year-old child raped by her father to have the baby?” to be an actual question in the next debate.

All I want to say is that the illustrations are great.

Maybe it’s an unpopular opinion, but I’m not a fan of the cold mayo macaroni salads.

I know she does crossfit. Because, like every other person who does crossfit, she feels a need to tell people that she does crossfit.

I disagree. I think this bride _should_ confront her friend about the lack of gift, so that the bridesmaid has the opportunity to shit in a box and mail it to her, but that's just me.

No, no, no. Not before he doesn’t get the nomination, runs as an independent and splits the whackadoodle vote. He needs to pull a Nader and then he can go die in a fire.

Is there an emoji for “I owe so much in loans, I basically bought a small house that I just can’t live in”?

Fewer, Hillary. it should be fewer.

When I got my dog as a tiny puppy, we still lived in an apartment. Toilet training was a nightmare because she had to be under constant supervision- running around behind her to snatch her up when she started to squat or circle and then running outside to make her do it in the yard. It was like four weeks (because I…

I read everything he wrote in Archer’s voice.

he simply wants to thank his wife for being a good mother

This article is so idiotic. You even point out yourself that the statistics from prior to the implementation of the spaces indicate that the risk was exaggerated. The spaces weren’t necessary.

Can Lindy West come back and review this?!

I cook all the time and I’m good at it. I have never been able to make dinner in 30 minutes.

preachhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!

if only jezebel would follow his lead.