One in the face, one up his arse...

This just made me so happy. But don't forget our two legs to kick.

We could call him a cunt, but he has neither the warmth nor the depth.

Please do not associate Scott Walker with cunts. He doesn’t deserve such a comparison. Cunts are actually wonderful bits of anatomy: Scott Walker isn’t a wonderful bit of anything.

As for Walker’s contention that everybody’s out here showing him fetus photos on their iPhones, one might argue that there’s a world of difference between looking at an ultrasound of a wanted pregnancy and having a foreign object inserted into your body against your will as a punitive measure to make you feel bad…

I want to come for this couple with pitchforks and fiery torches. I am so enraged for this stranger!

It’s damn near impossible as a large-breasted woman to find a boned wedding dress that fits well both sitting and standing. I had mine custom made and we still couldn’t pull that off. You have to make a call, and looking good while standing in pictures is the bigger issue.

Ohhhhh man, one of my distant cousins proposed to his girlfriend during a Christmas family get-together. Best part? She’s black and this was right as the Mike Brown killing was still all over the media and his dad had just finished a diatribe (a loud one) about a black guy getting shot by the cops outside a…

I got Sadman as well. I guess I’m condemning my child to permanent adolescence.

It seems to me that they should live in fear of the day their state passes an “anti-Sharia Law.” There could be consequences for those who exalt their own religious methods of judgment and punishment above law and order.

Mr. Ferret and I are planning to do a small civil ceremony with a few close friends/family in attendance, then go out and have a nice dinner afterward. No traditional reception. If the older sister only did this because her younger sister was engaged and she wanted to “beat her,” that’s pretty weird. But I don’t see…

I generally don’t like memoirs, because I read as escapism so my nonfiction is usually history or science. But the one memoir I’ve read that was amazing and moving was I Am Malala, by Malala Yousafzai, and I think she's done enough at 16 to warrant one.

My wife’s family is always going on about how we need to move to Austin because it’s a bustling city, great music and food scene, family friendly and all that (they’re from around there), and articles like this serve prove my counter-point, “But then we’d have to live in fucking Texas,” to be irrefutable.

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He did it before it was cool.

Man, that was good. You know, between this and his appearance on Extras and every single thing Coldplay has ever done, I’m really convinced Chris Martin should focus full-time on Comedy.

No one even thought of working after having kids, and few have any plans to go back even when the kids have left home.

Inspiration board for TS’s next red carpet appearance:

I commented above, but that’s the only thing I can do too!! Or the first time I make something I’ll measure everything out precisely so I know what a serving is and then I have to stop because it’s just a descent into madness after that!!!