It also separates the violence from the other parts of the cycle of abuse when every part, including and especially the sweet apologies and “I love you’s,” are what makes the whole so terrible.

Calling it “the monster” is an abusive tactic to keep up the pretense that it’s somebody else committing those heinous acts. It’s also a nice way to create further dissonance inside the victim’s mind. Whom are going to hold accountable?

God shut the fuck up.

Passive whites don’t get a pass for white supremacy.
You can’t claim you aren’t part of the system when you enjoy all the benefits that system confers to you.