Which would also include the “no dessert” option.

Make it grow a nipple when it gets cold, and I’ll try it just so I can look at it.

I’m not going to say drugs but drugs.

“Foodies" are the worst kind of people. We all eat girl, we all eat. It doesn't make you special. Go ahead and eat that emu reduction served in the nose of a dead falcon.

My sister died from a heart attack at 34. It happens.

It could be worse; I could be denying I’m Robin Thicke.

It happens.

YES! My dad has one and it is awesome!

Aw, thanks! I am now seriously contemplating getting my user name tattooed somewhere! Thanks for that little brain worm.

Really a waste of a golden opportunity.

I really hope that cane has a sword in it and she terrorized everyone with it backstage.

Yeah there’s a couple of similar fat-shamey jokes in the greys that I hope no one likes or responds too. Such base humor puts a damper on our witty repartee about canes!

This is a very racist thing to say Wednesdays....

Thanks for this. For real, some of us just have a little more thanks to the wonderful variety maker that is genetics. We shouldn’t have to kill ourselves to be appropriately small.

That’s one thing I won’t slam Kelly for. There are plenty of real reasons! But her size, not one of ‘em. I don’t think that’s okay to begin with, but especially not in Kelly’s case.

You mean that your dog doesn’t have a mink coat, a diamond collar, and a leather sports coat? That’s so sad!

That dog is one spoiled bitch.

The idea of a mink coat for a dog is like a reverse Cruella DeVille situation. And this isn’t some weirdness lost in the pages of history books. They still sell mink coats for dogs, however it appears modern dogs are too socially conscious to model them.

But help me verbalize it. Is it a hatred of women? Or a mistrust of women? Or is it more specific to a mistrust of female sexuality? Or a fear of it? Or does it come from a sense of entitlement to women’s bodies, which essentially leads to the idea that ‘women lie about rape’ because rape doesn’t exist, because men…

You’re not alone. I am always surprised she can fill the audience.