Kind of a low ranking for the Fridge. At a minimum, I’m sure he’s well versed in EnergySTAR certification, which has to count for something at DOE.

You’re just realizing this now? Most of my friends died in a fireball nearly 65 million years ago. Those that survived turned from terrible awe inspiring beasts as big as buildings into robins and sparrows. There clearly is no god.

Perrys Who Should Run the Department of Energy, Ranked

—Checks deadspin for something to read before going to bed.

Well of course it’s because he’s on the board of Energy Transfer Partners. Look at the job Ben Carson got just because the department had the word “urban” in it.

I was there yesterday. After the rams fumbled the opening kickoff and the falcons scored on the next play, a guy a few rows in front of me stood up said basically “fuck this, I have better things to do” and left. He never came back. The guy left after 2 plays. It was easily the best thing I saw all day.

Pick your joke:

Not gonna lie, I’m impressed that the SUV’s roof can support a man of such heft. What model is that?

It strikes me like one of those pre-written obits that news organizations keep on hand for people of interest.

LA residents seem to have forgotten too.

Fortunately, Colin Cowherd is a barely sentient sack of hog prostates.

Oh god, please... I need more Tomsula in my life. (Plus it will keep him busy so he stops digging through the dumpster outside my apartment building.)

I know the PERFECT man for the job.

Looks like you started it at 2:59.

This is so amazing. The Jeff Fisheriest thing that could ever happen...

On the bright side, this should give the Rams some added leverage when negotiating Fisher’s next contract.