I assume he only peed on the floor mid-stream just to be safe.

How does this happen? How does it even get to that point? You'd think someone along the way would say, "wait a second, the Dolphins are a successful, profitable organization, why are we doing this?" and that people would agree and decide not to do that horrible thing.

If only they had reported that a friend said there was an 80% chance that a suspect had been arrested. That last 20% gives them enough wiggle room to never acknowledge how wrong they were. Or at least if they play by "Deadspin Rules".