I want my casket to lie in state inside the green monster. Then Manny can urinate on me.

Five diapers off, five diapers on.

The least they can do is kick out those assholes who sit behind home plate and wave at the camera while talking on their cell. Douchebags.

Post-game festivities for the players:

So long, Big Sexy.

She could crush your head like a ripe melon. But what a way to go.