It was a pure hitjob. Changing their “test” over and over, making it more extreme, and then putting the Samurai through it 37 times just so they could claim it rolls. Yeah, any vehicle would with what they did to it. 

Let’s see:

They’re illegal in Queensland and the Territory. Fuckwit Mike didn’t even read the wikipedia article he linked. That’s like a quarter of the country.

As someone who studied creative writing in uni...ugh. Being the kind of prick I am, I put up my hand after the fifteenth time I’d heard it one semester and asked “Does anyone really want to hear about the lives of a bunch of mostly white, middle-class, urban Australian kids who are at uni for creative writing?”

Man, I bet you Yanks are still pissed at Consumer Report hate-fucking Suzuki out of North America.

“I’m a blacula hunter. I hunt blaculas. Do you know what that means?”

FUCK OFF, KARI GISLASON. I PUT UP WITH ENOUGH OF YOUR BULLSHIT IN UNI- wait, sorry, mistook you for someone else. 

HEY, WHITE PEOPLE:

I’ve instructed a friend, who my family doesn’t know at all, to turn up in a full black veil hiding her face, and play The Whitlam’s “I Will Not Go Quietly” at full bore from a bluetooth speaker:

Due to a fucking typo, I have an ags now.

Ain’t Randy more their speed?

Nah, you need off-brand Samuel L. Jackson:

So why didn’t Sammy B mention it?

Needs to be a tanuki with a massive nutsack, to better fit in with Japanese culture.

Seriously, people. It’s fucking so bad Sir David had to join social media, fuck’s sake.

Does he get revenge with a pencil?

Free commemorative coins are a better use of bronze than a statue celebrating a mail-order gold-digger whose main marketable skills are suppressing her gag reflex while she performs her contractually-obligated weekly handjob on a shambling burnt-orange pleather beanbag with a hairpiece.

She doesn’t deserve a statue.

Strategic Option #1:

Just as an FYI for any Slovenians reading this, bronze melts at 950 degrees C.