How cool would it be to do a face-off between Jason and Machete? I mean, it's been proven that neither one can die.

Jason X was, I thought, largely ridiculous and yet it's my choice for the most fun Friday the 13th around. Yes, even better than Jason vs. Freddy or Jason Takes Manhattan.

*subscribes to newsletter to get the free hat*

The hell is THAT thing supposed to be? Seriously, the fuck?

Am I drunk yet?

History by way of Civilization 5.

OOOOWWWW! MY GROIN!

Talkin bout Lebukoooooonnnn, Jack

Hey, for those of us whose bodies are actually weird looking, those 90s jeans were a godsend, the boxiness were good for us. With skinny jeans, I don't know how I could even wear them. They'd make me like a walking mushroom with a head on top.

That GQ link has a picture that goes straight through from weird to the Uncanny Valley to…beyond. It's really eerie. And only mildly arousing.

I can SEE the MUSIC!

Pass me your wallet, I'll send help

If you pizza when you should be doing a fry, you're gonna have a bad time.

"I'll even learn to like the taste of whisky"

If there aren't any yet, you should get on the ground floor of this new and exciting business venture! I'll invest 50 bucks.

It's our God-given right to lie during campaigns about our opponents, ourselves, and anything else! Whatever ends we can think of totally justify the means! If someone thinks we're lying, let them do all the research to prove it! We'll just run ads saying that THEY'RE the liars!

YELLOW DIK NEEDS BOOZE BADLY.

I'll take her number! What makes it even better is that I have no exes from the last ten years for her to get jealous over!

Less Than Jake - Never Going Back to New Jersey
Van HaIen - Ice Cream Man
Girl Talk - Bounce That
Weird Al Yankovic - One More Minute
Disney Classics - Heffalumps and Woozles
Bob Dylan - Jokerman

If I may ask, what schools are you looking at for this MBA? There's a shit-ton of schools here in the Cities.