This is why I don’t dunk. This right here.

Two phony rocket attacks in one week.

The short version is that prior to being patched with a smidgen of extra expository content, the story contained so many gaps, jumps, and “fuck it, you either watched the anime, the movie, and read the promo materials or you just won’t get it” shit that it came off as a mishmash of ideas that had to be crammed into a…

That is an excellent point. Going into this game I’m sure the New England Patriots were going to give it maybe 75%. I mean there’s a lot of pressure to win, and Belichick runs a pretty tight ship, but it gets cold sometimes and it’s late in the year, and I would be willing to bet they just aren’t properly motivated.

Also got busted by Dad, as I was spanking it. Complete bust with me just standing there dick in hand.

Ivanka?

So much edge in that comment, it just became tag team champions with Christian!

This is the stuff right here. I want to print it, let it soften in a bucket of water for several days, then slowly over the course of many hours grind it into a fine paste that I can inject directly into my left nipple. Good stuff.

He’s pining for the Nords.

Woman nominated 4 times for an Oscar = $1000

Yup. As a fellow old, I liken my response to stories like this to the South Park episode wherein the boys try to figure out why the toddlers are obsessed with PewDiePie (and Cartman, of course, becomes, “CartMAN braaaaaah!”)

I don’t get it. But I also don’t have to. Our generation had grunge, and flannels for everyday…

anything to keep him out of the broadcast booth

I was hoping they were announcing a shift to literal mad cats.

Yeah, but he was a Cardinal, so no doubt he covered it up The Right Way.

“No, I said one day I’m gonna steal your can, sir! Be patient!”

The police have nothing to go on.

Yeah, I know that when I have a plan where thousands of lives depend on me, with no knowledge of how the enemy is tracking me and a ship where I know people have tried to jump ship to save their own skins, I definitely tell the plan to the guy who can’t follow orders and literally like one day ago got a bunch of…

Yeah, though they’re all in college now and there’s a few new characters including an evil dean who wants to crack down on partying.

Right, because literally every pizza place in the US uses the exact same cheese, and every pizza place in Europe uses the exact same better cheese.

Did the dartboard have a superimposed image of himself that got younger with each miss?