Oh he has that too. I’m waiting for the “Worst thing your spouse ever did in public” pissing contest for that one.

I was in Midway for ten hours with endlessly cancelled flights this past winter. This 20-something girl sat in the only open seat in the waiting area, which was behind me. The stench was pretty bad but I wasn’t about to give up my seat. We finally boarded the flight. It was a full Southwest flight. I snagged a window…

There’s a reason sulfur is associated with the concept of hell.

That’s some Twilight Zone shit right there.

getting hit in the eye with a toenail that was just clipped from an old man sitting across the aisle from me.

Duly noted.

Dude, how is this even a tie?

About 8 years ago, Dallas to somewhere Carolina, I had the misfortune of seeing a father beat the shit out of his 3-5 year old daughter for hours. He shook her, punched her, slapped her, verbally abused her. All the things. He was completely wasted and the flight crew served him over and over and over. It was the most…

Flight from the Dominican Republic to Canada, late 1980s.

I didnt see this one, because I myself was the culprit. I was kinda hung over and had to get on a red-eye flight. The only thing open to eat or drink at the airport was a starbucks at like 5:30 in the morning. All they had to eat were turkey sandwiches. I got one, and noticed it said “made in Maryland” on the label (I…

The worst thing I’ve seen on an airplane? That would flames enveloping the engine outside my window... If it was heard, then of course it would be the preceding Very Loud Bang, and maybe the following half hour of utter silence as absolutely nobody spoke, including the pilot or flight attendants.

Recently, I was flying back home to take care of my sister after she had been in a pretty bad accident. I chatted briefly with the woman next to me, exchanging stories and small talk and told her as much. Cut to the flight where there is some of the worst turbulence I have ever been in. So bad people are filming it…

Maybe this doesn’t qualify (and I am stuck in the greys anyway):

Aren’t children delightful?

How about just the funniest?

I mean I know this has happened to everyone but I once had a man seated next to me, he was like three times my size. He started out really great as a flying partner by asking me what I was reading and then taking off his stanky ass socks and shoes and clearly not using deoderant. Then he fell asleep after taking some…

I smelled something very bad halfway through a cross-country flight. I assumed someone farted —bad, but understandable — but it....lingered. And then folks in the two rows in front of me got up and started going back towards the bathroom, not to return. The rows stayed empty. It was a smelly flight. When we finally…

Yup. That’s cured me from ever flying again.

Different kind of worst, but...

some guy forgot to lock the door and I saw his balls and his ass as he was picking his pants up