I’m with you. I also think telephones are cheating, in general. If it’s not a conversation I can have face-to-face, it’s not worth having. And don’t get me started on airplanes, boats, cars or travel by rail. If I want to get there faster, I’ll run. No, I think we can both agree that anything that makes life easier or…

I was alone in an elevator with Ruth Bader Ginsburg and she farted. I was going to ignore it like a gentleman when she said “woah did somebody step on a duck.” We both laughed and she turned to me and said “no one will ever believe you if you tell this again.” She is one wise lady.

I really hope he doesn’t. The only thing that scares me more than a Trump presidency is a Pence presidency right now.

I can’t edit my original post but I wanted to tell everyone, I VOTED!!!! My husband went just now and called and said there was no line at all, and he explained my situation to the poll workers so they were prepared to bring the machine to my car if I needed it (thankfully I didn’t!) I AM SO HAPPY!!!!

SO WHO WAS PHONE?!!??

Global warming is thought to increase the severity of weather in general, which is why a severe rain storm like this is being grouped into a discussion of global climate change. This wasn’t a traditional Gulf storm, it was actually a stalled frontal system. Hurricanes and tropical storms are actually having a greater…

MIRACLE WHIP IS GARBAGE, BOBBY

30 is an awesome age. Old enough to stop giving as many fucks, young enough to still have plenty of fucks left.

The filming was mainly planned for Montauk, the last stop on the LIRR and one of the most beautiful beach towns in New York City.

How is this surprising? She has a British identical twin!!!

Yikes I don’t know guys, this is bringing back some baaaad memories

Yikes, flatforms.

With all due respect, if this is satire, it’s very poorly done. Most readers of this site are educated, bright, and quite humorous. If this was even a moderately well-written satire piece, more readers would have realized it.

But is it satire? I don’t get the impression that the author is mocking people who hold the belief that people with certain body types should not be allowed to wear certain articles of clothing. Seems more like she honestly has these beliefs and she’s just trying to be snarky about it. Also, it’s just not very funny?

Margaret Atwood tweeted at me once and I about shat myself.*

* By “shat,” I mean that I told everyone about it. “Who is Margaret Atwood?” asked my brother. “What is Twitter?” asked my dad. “Who are you?” asked the cheesemonger at Whole Foods who was showing me where the gouda was.

1. Capitalize all your “I”s and clean up your grammar. The word is “premise”, not “premises” for Gotham. Poor grammar with this type of thing will turn off a lot of women. It looks like you just dashed it off without caring.
   

Not capitalizing your I’s feels like a choice...and I don’t know if it’s the best one? In general, go over it multiple times, and try to chose interesting and varied adjectives, and make sure your spelling/grammar is accurate.

Bread to go along with the potato? Say what now?

I am TERRIBLE at doing my hair. I have ultrathin, flat hair that doesn’t hold a curl or hairspray or product very well at all. I can do three things: 1) leave it down (it gets really flat really quickly) 2) put in an anemic pony tail 3) put it in a tiny topknot IF my hair is cooperating and I have time to fuck up a…