I am also a victim of artificial sweetners. Solidarity. :(

20 minutes in the bathroom? Pooping, obvs.

That’s what I came here to say. Literally had to turn down my radio a few times because it was just too painful.

The blue dress + hat - bolero? 10/10. Would wear.

Both give me diarrhea. One, I know for a fact and one, I just assume.

I have a very serious question: What the fuck am I looking at?

No. Just. I mean. What the. No.

I literally cannot tell what I’m looking at. It’s like my brain refuses to process the information that my eyes are supplying.

I don’t know you, but I love you.

I HAD TO AVERT MY EYES. TOO MUCH PRETTY.

Holy cats, that dress is amazing. You look absolutely beautiful and you married a hottie!

I need a picture of your dress immediately because it sounds perfect.

These two (three, actually) have been spending much time together in public, recently, and I had my first sighting of them in the wild about three weeks ago at a local festival. I creeped them and they seemed to be behaving like a normal couple, she was pushing the baby in a stroller and he was holding the hand of and…

I guess what I’m saying is yes, but it’s gonna cost you.

In my former webcam girl life, I had a customer who would take me private (bonus!) to watch me sit in foods. I did, and happily, because I love food and also money and am kind of a freak, anyway.

THAT POPPY CAKE!!!!

slimcados are a fart.

Like a Bratz doll, right?

Blonde Jessica Seinfeld is not my favorite. Bangin' bod, though. That girl works on her fitness!

I would like a shirt that says "Can? Uma? Live?", please.