When I got married my little sister was a teenager so my dad helped her with her maid of honor speech. The speech itself was very sweet (especially everything that my sister said) and my dad brought childhood pictures of me blown up to poster size that he used as visual aids. Everything was well and good until my dad…

Sounds like my mother in law. She loves that type of joke. (She also introduced me as “the biggest rack my son has brought home yet”.)

I remember being 10 and super pissed that my mom told my dad and my grandparents that I had started my period. That I consider legit embarrassment, but my dad was morbidly obese (I’m talking TLC special obese, he died from complications of a gastric bypass) and because kids were kids, I was brutally teased about him.…

Woah, that is the most Florida thing to ever Florida.

I was a 14 year old band geek dating another band geek. One day I come home to find my mom furious and my big tough dad crying. No joke. Like someone had fucking died.

Well, this happened to my brother, but it’s still fucking good.

Knowing my Mom, I’m pretty sure the lesson was to hide my weed better

I love your mom. God love her for trying, you know? But also: I would have thrown myself into traffic if my mom had shown me the lube she uses, so I feel you.

My dad was a big fan of tighty whities. Like day is over, pants are off. My friends would come over and there was dad having a lively chat with them in his underwear. Daaaad.

The year was 1980 and I was thirteen. I was raised in a very strict household where even words like ‘crap’ were punishable with a month’s grounding. We also were on a very fixed budget, so going to a movie was a special occasion that happened maybe once every few months.

My parents loaded my younger sister (ten) and me…

Do we have the same mother? Except mine started doing that when I was ELEVEN.

“Your punishment is to go to the store and get me some doritos. And cheesies. And those...whaddycallem...fuzzy peaches. Yeah.”

That time my dad decided to make a point during diversity day...

I think that’s adorable! What a sweetheart.

My mom and stepdad were hanging out with some friends whom I never met. Came home at curfew and smiled as they introduced us.

Embarrassing but God they sound like they adore you.

One time my dad had to ask me what happened to his weed because I took it. That was pretty mortifying. I didn’t know it was his.

My husband’s mother pulled a great one on us when I was 16 and he 18.

My father is a religious leader. One of his favorite things to do when I was growing up was to use stories from mine or my brother’s life as examples in his sermons. The week he talked about the crush I had from the pulpit *while that guy was in the room listening* was probably close to the worst thing. That, or…

Because I hate to shop for clothes, and always have, whenever my family went to the mall, I would spend about an hour with my mom buying school clothes and then she would meet up with my dad and pass me off so she could shop for herself in peace. I was always SUPER excited about this, because it meant about 2 hours of…