Greatest moment in retweeting history has to be this...

Sadly, one does not require an overabundance of intelligence to run fast, miss tackles at gunner, and fail in pass coverage.

LeBron weighs as much as 3 jockeys. He would have to throw that horse over his shoulder and carry him around the track. They’d probably still win though.

Glad you enjoyed it.

Marijuana advocates are the exemplars of the expression, “I really hate that I agree with you.”

They are more afraid of going to jail for doing their jobs properly than they are of getting shot on duty.

Twins rock.

When it comes to wrong Jeopardy answers, nothing tops this.

“If I fail a drug test, then I fail a drug test, then I fail a drug test, then I fail a drug test, then I fail a drug test, then I fail a drug test, then I fail a drug test, then I fail a drug test.”

I went to see a screening of the second Boondock Saints film (for all its deep and obvious flaws, I have an abiding fondness for the original, entirely because of the gorgeous men and all the homoeroticism) that included a panel discussion with Troy Duffy and a few of the actors afterward. The move was so awful I…

“The city of Miami paid $60,000 in a settlement with another man Archer had beaten (pictured below).”

Yeah!

If someone hands you a little piece of magic like this, what exactly is there to complain about? All the relevant action was captured perfectly. Just watch it and be happy or shut the fuck up and move on.

Fixed that for you.

Favre: Where'd you shave?

You guys can scoff all you want, and maybe it's a regular occurrence where you live, but, in Buffalo, people are going to notice a shady black guy hanging out behind a White Cassel.

Didn't mean to stir emotions there, buddy. I'm sure HR let you off with a warning.