I’m going to throw out a fun name: Jim Bob Cooter.

He probably drives and antique jag or some such shit that he thinks is fucking cool.

Floyd may weather the storm.

It figures Deadspin would put up a picture of two huge flacid dicks.

No one with indoor plumbing.

That back hoe fucked up his hand carved chess set....that’s why he’s so pissed.

Hot take: Fuck this bear

Holy shit, I can only imagine what those blockers-to-the-kidneys felt like.

Good ole Jake n’ bake

If it was a LAMIA flight I can understand why they were in a hurry to catch a buzz.

Now you’re in the holiday spirit!

Nope. Never had one.

I don’t go to bars.

I may not be the funniest guy, but I see, in your history, zero stars and you like to call people “fags”......so congrats on that.

Dear Draymond,

Ann Burrell is another annoying biznatch, but whenever I’m making something new I look up both of their recipes and use a combo of the two.

You must go to shitty bars.

The 4.5 quart tartan Le Creuset is more expensive than the standard 7.25. Fuck that noise.

Reporter to Bryce: Can you handle the job?

Probably came in a package from Brooklyn, who love to trade for dead C’s.