Definitely Blanche.

I voice the dog in the household. He curses like a sailor and has a mild southern accent.

This is amazing. I feel like me and my plush animals need to hang out with you and your plush animals.

Same here! This thread has been so oddly affirming!

Aw, thanks!

My Literotica page is, of course, the best Literotica page... but I'm sure your stuff is great, too.

I have a shark I got at IKEA. I named him Sharky (I know, original). He's an embassy from the shark world, come to tell us about what it's like being a shark and my husband interviews him for TV. I voice him in this weird low monster voice, but he's a chill guy who likes fish and not people.

We started with one stuffed dog. Now there are three, plus a sloth, plus their caretakers: a longhorn during the day, and an owl at night (obvs). We're very invested in the boys' education and extracurriculars.

So I have a plush mule that I got from the Grand Canyon when I was 4ish and he has a plush bear that wears sweaters and clothing that he's had since he was 2ish.

My significant other and I have entire conversations through our stuffed animals.

i have a stuffed animal platypus from the early 90s that i have fabricated an entire personality for. he has a boomerang business on ebay, hates junk food, gets frequent ear infections, and loves selena gomez. i know...im a sick person. but i love him!!

I say really sarcastic things to commercials. Out loud. Like full out mocking them. And then I laugh, because I'm hilarious. It's really tragic.

My parental long-game is to prepare my now 5 year old child for exactly that; to be dropped into the Southeast Asian jungle at 18, armed with nothing but a compass, waterproof matches, and a bowie knife with the expectation that she emerge a few weeks later wearing an animal skin as a glorious cape.

The sentiment may be cliche'd but that doesn't make it untrue. Humans are infinitely adaptive and times change. It just means that if your kids continue to be clueless in adolescents their classmates will spank and teach them or just grow tired of them and ostracize them. If you've kept them in a very small tank…

Actually, at that time—until the mid-80s and Cher, really—all the celebs just bought dresses off the rack and did their own makeup for the Oscars. (ETA: Occasionally, a costume designer they worked with would make something up for them—like in the Edith Head studio days.) Many of them talk about it—Meryl Streep, Jodie…

Was Mons Pubis at the Battle for Endor or Hoth? I get those confused sometimes.

I've tried to at parties but my wife glares at me every time.

The proper term is Lady Parts.

Enh, that battle is long lost. Outside of literary or scientific/medical circles, no one in regular conversation says "mons pubis" or vulva.