“Thanks to our wonderful family and friends, ____’s quota of pink has been filled! This year’s pink gifts will be donated to ____ (women’s or children’s shelter?), because disguising ingratitude as humble-bragging absolves us of any judgement.”

I volunteer three days a week at a AIDS chairty. It’s only charitable work if you’re volunteering. Otherwise it’s just a job.

I mean seriously. Those “poor people” need to just get over themselves, expecting you to think about them all the time, you have bigger fish to fry. Seriously you’ve got mom stuff to do, because let’s be honest, taking care of kids is a full time job. It’s not easy working a full time job and being a mother. It’s not…

They should have not sent ANY letter and if they really can’t afford the formula then they should really be questioning why they had children in the first place, followed by signing up for WIC.

Know what? You could just buy everything yourself. Know why they think you don’t appreciate it? Because you don’t. Not really.

Buy the glass and if anyone says anything you laugh and call them an asshole, loudly.

I’m sure your child will inform you once they become an adolescent. If not in their 30s when they start therapy.

The guilt is your problem. See a therapist and then dispatch with the unused, unwanted mess.

Yes. You send a gracious thank you note that includes a photo of the baby in the aforementioned ugly garment, then donate the clothes to someone poor that doesn’t have the luxury of complaining about free things.

The whole point of having children is to temporarily fill the void in your life caused by neediness. What’s the point if you aren’t lavished with attention?

That would totally cut into my drinking budget. #childless4ever

People give me things I don’t like when all I really want is free money and I’m getting married even though I can’t afford it. Yeah, that would really stress me out too. #stressedout

Then they should just say, “no gifts,” and buy their own sh*t.

Because children are miracles and they make you a better person.

Taking sh*t back to walmart: Reason 72 for not having children.

Parents like these are the #1 reason people without children find people with children insufferable.

Or SVU

Except that a lot of people in the NFL are murders and attempted murderers.

Because being a sociopathic, dumb, wife beater, murderer, criminal precludes an NFL career.

I’m not sure if it was clear now that I reread, but the process should take 15 minutes if you forgo the baking with bread crumbs. Also if you like a creamier cheese, you can add a splash of milk, but you want that to be room temperature so it doesn’t cool your hot pasta (I take mine out of the fridge and set aside…