Just gotta say, every week should be evil week, then we can take time off to learn to... I don't know, build orphanages.

I do these things as a matter of course. Does this make me a cold-blooded Machiavellian bastard?

@DJ_Skrull: Win.

@muzicman82: I'm with you on this, although it looks like pig slop.

@not_a_virus.exe.vbs: You stole the joke I was going to make when i read this article title. Capital letter for capital letter.

I entered this into Google's search bar: "define:win" and it led me to this article.

Soylent Security! It's made from people!

That's a very pretty picture you have at the top of this article.

@WestwoodDenizen: *bah-dum-pst*

@Michael Casp: IV-VI is pleasingly symmetrical.

People say things like "nothing is perfect" and "something HAS to go wrong" really have no scientific reason. It's like you're saying there's some malign force in the universe just making sure humans never get it right.

@GhettoSamurai: If Verizon's letting the iPad in, even Wi-Fi only, it means they're working to some extent with Apple. I don't hold that against them, but if that means iPhones and such are on the way as well I'm worried it could mean all of their lovely Droid/X/2/Incredible/.../ sales could plummet. And let's face…

*please don't be the death of Android, please don't be the death of Android....*

@99TelepodProblems: Dragon's Blood Cabinets, Dragon's Blood Bookcase, Dragon's Blood Toilet Paper Roll Holder.... Yes, adding Dragon's Blood to anything makes it awesome.

Dice the chicken, olive oil, brown it in a hot hot hot skillet. Cook rice, about halfway through add chicken pan drippings. Put in bowl, add a splash of milk, enjoy.

ZOMG OH NOES!!!1 The government changed a picture that has nothing to do with our every day lives, that no life altering decisions were based on, and now it makes an attractive wallpaper!!!

@MazdaMania: Yes, but what about the guy with the conspiracy theories???

@FlawedHero: the last thing this is is appropriate

Not to spoil for everyone.... But there's the most powerful pokemon, like, ever, and ZOMFG he's startin' shit.

I love things like this. I make sure my parents read them after I do, so that the next time I lie they will try this and I'll be just one step ahead.