Five million seems like a lot until your realize their currency is gravel.

Unsurprisingly, Rose was the only one on the court who didn't have a knee-jerk reaction.

Certainly seems like an overreaction, but ... how about that clock in the lower right hand corner. Halftime, perhaps?

A midget submarine wouldn't have a nuclear reactor.

You've lost another submarine?

Marshall: It's supposed to hurt!

Yeah, but it wasn't like it was a nobody who faked Kobe out of his shoes. It was the immortal (looks back in the post) Alec Burks! (Damn, it's going to be a long year.)

"When you play with heart! It's supposed to hurt! You just kick the ball!"

Anyone notice the classic, "Oh, I gotta re-tie my shoelaces." move? This isn't Drake's first airball.

His Instagram avatar is a still of LL Cool Jay from the video "Mama Said Knock You Out." I'd say he's in fighting mode. Either that or he doesn't want it to be called a comeback.

GET HIM A BODY BAG! YEAAAAAAAHHHH!

If you scratch his picture hard enough you can actually smell the stale farts and leftover hot pockets.

Considering he (1) hasn't put out any podcasts whatsoever (rare) and (2) has only tweeted once (to promote the NBA preview with Jalen), I think it's fair to say that this goes beyond him just claiming he didn't have enough time to write it.

All of this pales in comparison to the real change the NBA needs to revert back.

Bill, we already asked you to come work for us, you don't need to try and impress us in the comments.

Paul Rudd is the James Harden of movie stars/comedy actors. If he's leading the way, you're probably in trouble. But if he's your third/fourth best piece, not only is he probably killing that role, but you're also enjoying that movie.

It was posited on Twitter by someone, can't remember who, that the NBA should go to 75 games but expand by two teams, which would solve the problems of keeping Turner and ESPN happy (they'd only lose about 10 games off the national slate per season), the players happy (losing 7 game checks but hey, less strenuous…

Yup. Sorry, guy.

I like to imagine that multiple black women have called him a punk and his oblivious takeaway was that they thought he was Ashton Kutcher.