Melania Trump is hardly a stand-in for American women, she is neither a victim nor she is lacking agency. Rather she’s an active participant working to construct Donald Trump’s narrative readily available to put a gauzy domestic veil on his racism and misogyny.

I hope he strains so hard while taking a huge dump that he pops an aneurysm in his head and dies on the toilet and is found by Melania and she begins whooping with joy and then has to pretend to sob when the Secret Service come running, but they’re like, “Girl, WE FEEL YOU!” and they all hug with joy and then put on…

Help. I can’t breathe. AM DEAD.

Um, one SNL writer? Who was strongly chastised by liberals and conservatives alike? And suspended from her job immediately? There have been articles about it. Did you come here just for that?

Why are their cars on the second floor patio? I am deeply confused. Have they not heard of garages, and how did they get up there and why? Do they sunbathe on their cars?

The state pays the the same, flat rate per student.

They have a parking lot that appears to have more square footage than my house. This is blowing my mind.

GODDAMN that is a fugly house

It looks like the used The Sims to design that monstrosity.  

Wow. That’s one of the most clear cut cases of discrimination I’ve read about in a long time. Did the school not even bother to consult a lawyer?

In related news, Betsy DeVos just announced that $1 billion in federal funding will now go to Park School.

Flynn and Sean Spicer are both from Rhode Island. This is more embarrassing than the time Buddy Cianci ran a winning mayoral campaign from prison.

He was already saying the left is as violent as we accuse the alt-right of being. The only thing that changed is that he’s scared now.

DC’s best sign:

My favorite from Philly which had NO media coverage.

You know, I noticed the sniffing and palate-sucking was back during his speech. He might not drink, but the man seems to enjoy his blow.

I hope he snorts too much coke tonight and drops dead.

It was yellow from all the pee, duh

WHY NOT BOTH

So what you’re saying is that it’s not noteworthy that The President of The United States just gave a speech that was functionally identical to one given by a comic book villain?