That's a needlessly polite way to describe them.

Paris. Gare de Lyon. There was a group of maybe half a dozen (one woman and four or five men) of what I can only assume were homeless people. One of the men had two deep, open cuts on the palm of his hand. The woman grabbed his hand and started spitting on it repeatedly before wiping it with a filthy handkerchief. I…

The lowest of low blows, but seriously, fuck that guy.

Sashay is such a great fucking word. And I'm with you re: Elliott Smith.

I missed the editing window on my last comment but I wanted to add that, other than the silly portmanteau, this piece is nothing if not excellent. Jezebel has the best writers on this whole site. Keep up the great work.

(or fauxternity, if you will)

I won't. All these needless, fatuous portmanteaux springing up all over the place are malignant linguistic tumors.

Ah, OK. Makes sense. By the way, thanks for answering that question without being a condescending twat.

"Pine tar, sunscreen, whatever… it's not there to help the ball sink, cut or do funny things. It's a tool to keep it from flying out of your hands."

Maybe I'm overthinking this or just don't know a lot about sunscreen, but isn't sunscreen oily and slippery as all hell? How the fuck would that help you get a better grip…

You do appear to be quite adept at making baseless inferences, I'll give you that.

I have a feeling you're going to take a lot of shit for this from people with dull reading comprehension skills and sharp axes to grind.

Because they're all pretty much oblivious to the fact that they've won the genetic and socioeconomic lottery. They look at all their material wealth and social status and they figure they must have done something right or divined some secret universal truth that they need to share with the rest of the…

Isn't using sophomoric neologisms to refer to one's genitals grounds for divorce in certain states?

Sorry, if you've ever seen Clueless you agreed to settle all disputes through binding arbitration.

"(to whom, I'm unsure of)"

RAINN

There ya go.

I can't think of a single sex scene from any film or television show I've ever seen that wasn't gratuitous. It's never been essential to my understanding of the story or plot to watch two or more people pretend to fuck and I'd have no problem with all onscreen sex being merely implied.

In other news, people who join adult kickball teams apparently still manage to get laid.

Yeah, it's the same reason that the Redskins didn't win those three Super Bowls.

If you sit in piss or gum or water or anything else on a public bus or train, you deserve it. Always, always check the seats.

Your headline makes it sound like McConnell was airing a campaign ad in the United Kingdom.

I'd agree wholeheartedly if we were talking about pretty much anyone but Lena Dunham. The most charitable interpretation I'm willing to give is that, although she might not really think Gloria Steinem or Daniel Day-Lewis are ever going to be on her show, she still believes in her entitled little brain that her show is…