Oh my goodness yes they are, especially from vaginal births. Covered in cheese and goo and their little faces all smooshed. Still the most beautiful sight in the world, but they look like cannibal gnomes.

Next time I see a bear:

Right?! Ugh, no pictures until it’s clean. And past that red, rashy, wrinkled old man phase.

omg newborn babies are disgusting.

I’m more offended for her in that her husband stated she is as beautiful as a newborn. Do not compare mothers to shell-less turtle, alienoids.

I’m Ecuadorian (and Colombian) and my mom and all her friends used to joke about Bobbitt all the time when I was a kid. She was seen as a national hero* by women in Ecuador back in the 90s. Jokes mainly revolved around the idea that you don’t and should never fuck with an Ecuadorian woman’s heart unless you want your…

Oh I would leave because I figured out that after I dismiss their advances I am now a challenge and something to be chased. So in order to not deal with any of that stupid shit I just leave and find a new place to get a buzz on.

I appreciate a negative rating for a driver that has creepy views on women. It might keep some women from being alone in the car with him while they’re going home from the bar.

“Part of the job is not talking about things that are inappropriate.”

With my RBF and Aura of Hate (TM) I usually get “Move bitch! Get out da way!” at bars. Lolz. Spoiler: I don’t move or “get out da way.” You’ll have to kill me first before I give up my coveted bar space. Beer me in peace.

Puppies work.

Come on Bigjack, the rating isn’t just about their driving. It is about the entire experience. I had a driver tell me I should have babies and when I said I didn’t want any he spent the whole drive telling me why women should use their gift for good. It passed me off, I didn’t say more then three words after that but…

I do that when it’s an awkward social interaction and people overstep their boundaries. That way I can assess if it was an accident or on purpose.

#TeamPuppy, all the way.

So if my Uber driver sexually harassed me but was an incredible driver, I should what? give him five stars? Good plan, bro.

Keeping your dumbass opinions to yourself is part of providing personal services like driving to others.

My wife literally dies in the presence of cats.

My Uber driver the other night, noticing that i was going home from the bars by myself, tried to convince me to go buy a book online that would teach me how to get any women to sleep with me.

I gave him and his stupid fucking newsboy cap 1 star.

Best way to pick up quality women: be a real feminist. Is that so hard?

That couple was clearly April Ludgate and Andy Dwyer.