BIG CELL PHONE makes tons of money from customers who are addicted to texting. Maybe not be technically organized crime but it might as well be.

It has no jowls. Can’t be a good car without humongous jowls. So... auto-CP.

MOAR jowls!!!!!

Jupiter? A planet? Ef-You! I’m Neil deGrasse Tyson, you mofos. Pluto? Not a planet! Mercury? Not a planet! Saturn?!?!! NOT A PLANET! Why? Because I’m Neil deGrasse Tyson! That’s why. And some place in Florida? Hell no. Not a place! Don’t care about the car. It ain’t a planet!!!

I will keep this short, and to the point: NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Grounded to the ground? Just curious.

I don’t read a lot but I read that book! Good book, and not just for the horrific injury story mentioned here.

I don’t read a lot but I read that book! Good book, and not just for the horrific injury story mentioned here.

I have no idea what “thowing shade” means. Or what “mother-of-all-Beckies” means.

Can you please write using standard American English?

What you have posted here is pure jibberish.

There are no races on the phone. There is only sounding “educated,” “sophisticated,” “intelligent,” “polite,” and “not a ghetto hood-rat.” Many people of many ethnic backgrounds have mastered this art.

Wow, there are SO MANY THINGS WRONG WITH THIS. I don’t even know where to start, so CP already! OK?

Your story reminds me of playing paintball and taking a shot to the goggles. Pretty much no warning and then all of a sudden the whole world turns whatever-the-color-of-their-paintball-was.

In the spirit of economy, I will say: NO. Just no.

Well, at least the wheels don’t look stupid.

CP. I actually remember when I was a teenager (back in the 1980s) a co-worker at my summer movie theater job had an awesome early ‘70s V8 AMC Javelin, but it got totaled in a wreck. (Nobody was hurt, thankfully. And he claims it wasn’t his fault.) His replacement? Yeah, a Le Car. I was SO disappointed with him.

But the science was SETTLED! Settled, I tell you. Don’t be a denier. Maybe time to have a march for microbeads or something?

Those wheels seem like they are just begging for curb rash.

Also, they look like crap.

It is like porn vids with a death metal soundtrack instead of the sound of girls getting their rocks off. Yes, you are correct.

CP. It’s an Audi. I hate Audies. Just be admit to being a VW or move up to a Porshe dammit.

(Confession, I live in Shanghai and every other freaking car on the road is a goddamn Audi. Every single effing poser with a salary drives some kind of Audi.) Just today I saw a Lambo Murcielago reving the engine at 15 mph in…

I think the road was probably closed just to stop idiots in low-emission, environment-friendly, Smart ForTwo cars from being swept away. This was a big ol’ heavy bus that crossed just fine. No harm, no foul.

But here we have a bunch of pearl-clutching “won’t you think about THE CHILDREN?!?!?” whiners falling back onto…

LOL! You want more Trump? Keep up this whimpering SJW fanatacism and you get more Trump. At this rate a full 8 years is almost guaranteed.

“This is one of those situations where neither side is wrong in their arguments.”

Umm, wrong.

It’s freaking Star Trek, just grow a pair and don’t be such Canadian snowflakes. I’m very, very, very, offended by their offencive offendedness.