Poor Kris. Goldie did it better.

I suppose hating on the inexplicable hit sitcom The Big Bang Theory for portraying nerds poorly is like hating the birds for singing: it’s just what they do

Agreed. Second best thing to come out was the tooth

“I sure hope — we’re in Bernie Sanders’ backyard here in New Hampshire — I sure hope he intends to show up in his neighboring state”...“There is nothing worse than a debate about debates.”

As an atheist I would argue that prayers never work, but that's not the fault of the prayer giver and they should be thanked.

Life when so much simpler when you could just drain your blood from yourself, separate the red blood cells with a centrifuge, have your team carry it around in a cooler on dry ice while hiding it from officials, and then give yourself a transfusion of your own blood before a race.

Two Corinthians One Trump is the next viral video.

Pull it off today? I can’t even name a star who could pull it off then.-Bette Davis’s ghost.

Bae got Gwoke.

Whenever I check in with the gun-toting nuts on my Facebook feed, their posts are all centered around the idea that gun owners are extremely responsible and competent individuals. After all, they know the technical difference between a rifle and and assault rifle, so only their opinions are valid, right? They know how…

He is the worst for other reasons, but she took off her top and she has breast implants. Come on. Do you really think she was offended? She was prancing around topless. And I say this as someone who is a sex-worker.

Please. She took her top off in the middle of hosting a live tv show. Her tits were fair game. There is nothing offensive about what he said.

For the record, I’m refusing to spend Christmas with Madonna as well.

Pictured: the Olsen twins laughing

Ha. I usually cheat on the weeknd. (are we talking about diets?)

Yeah. Hiding salary only helps the people at the top.

I’m very confused about why Jennifer Lawrence & Bradley Cooper are making a movie about a woman who invented a mop.

Well she was valedictorian of her high school!

me

Millennials are each a special flower.