I am not sure why the press is devoting their attention to this minor issue, when they could be concentrating their focus on a non-sensationalized national health pandemic that has received far too little coverage- shark attacks.

"I hate hydrating, and I'm getting fat from all the Sierra Mist I'm drinking. Bottled just water isn't refreshing enough."

Studies conducted in peer-reviewed journals have conclusively linked life(tm) with cancer. Moreover, they have detailed a statistically-significant increase in cancer that is highly correlated with longer life.

Mr. sebas0069,

I am greatly concerned for the future of society. What about all the positive aspects of racism that will disappear? The unparalleled belly-laughs from the comedy stylings of Outsourced?

In related news, noted band "The Limbaughs" is perfectly fine with the playing of their music during the controversial host's show, and has informed the corpulent sex tourist that he may use their music free of charge in any future slut-shaming, as it will bring much-needed free publicity.

I have two things that I need to point out-

It is a well known rule of law that equity protects the drunk, the mentally enfeebled, and those that were somehow unaware in the last two weeks that Apple would be releasing a new iPad.

Without HFCS, how will we manufacture the oodles of cheap sweets needed to jam shut the pieholes of the lumpenproletariat that are always moaning about "increased pay" and "better jobs" and "keeping your boot off my face"? This is a dangerous and misguided article, and will lead to decreased happiness and increased…

This nomenclature makes perfect sense. We will know that the tyranny of the iPad line will soon be over when Apple releases the Newest iPad.

Mr. Greg Warren,

This is unfortunate. I will now have to purchase all-new Apple equipment so that it all has the new, improved, and approved logo.

Mr. mconheady,

This is the type of brilliant mind-manipulation that we have come to know and love from Apple [no comma] Inc.

Mr. Conky's Evil Twin,

Despite all these fancy numbers and stats, I will reiterate my desire to not buy a product with the cursed Apple logo regardless of price, performance, or lack of carrier contract. Android FTW!

I am grateful for this article, as it clears up the historical misconception that an iceberg was the ultimate cause of the Titanic's disaster.

Unfortunately, it must be pointed out that married people are 100% more likely to be murdered by their spouses than singles. So there's that.

As other posters, infra, have posited, Anonymous is but ephemera, an idea whispered in the dead of night, passed around by trucks on tubes, never staying long enough to be caught.

Mr. Dogm1,