Delicious is what it is. Like a dark, brooding, um... artichoke-y version of Campari.

This is cheating, Albert! No new recipe from the Internet Food Person? WHAT IS THE WORLD COMING TO?

I officially volunteer for the posse needed to destroy this wretched place and erase any record of its existence.

A couple jobs ago I worked with a ton of servers who were new to the industry. A customer once jokingly asked one new guy if they could get a beer for the road. This kid ordered the beer, poured it into a to-go cup, and brought it out with a fucking straw in it. I had to take back that beer from the astonished…

By the way, do NOT try to tug the avocado pit off of your knife. That way lies flesh wounds. Instead, pinch the pit from the back, non-sharp side of the knife. It'll pop right off, and you get to maintain full finger integrity.

Right, because cleaning your dirty plates by throwing them all away makes sense too.

That fly ball question reminds me of the time in Little League when one poor bastard took a third-base pop fly right in the eye. While wearing glasses. Pretty sure he had to go get glass picked out of his corneas in the ER. We kept on playing, soulless monsters that we were.