Dried pineapple is the best dried fruit and it’s not even close.

Wake me up when dealerships stop being a useless and arbitrary middle man to the car buying process (which is already grossly moronic for new cars, unless you enjoy throwing away 30% of an item’s value upon purchase). Of course they should go above and beyond, you’re throwing away money on products they don’t even…

Spoken like a person who never traveled more than 25 miles from the coastal Eloi portion of CA. CA is a humid shithole.

Oooh Internet tough guy. Sorry hon, middle-school ended a long time ago. At least you made it clear that you definitely belong in the swampy ass-crack of Texas.

Using Texas as an example is foolish. You’re 43rd in education, 47th in pollution, 38th in poverty, 40th in % of people on food stamps...all with staunch GOP anti-union politicians in control. Texas is a dump and we should let it leave the Union. You also take a higher % of federal aid dollars than nearly every other…

You moved out of CA becuse no one would hire you there. Go fuck yourself, dipshit.

Counterpoint: fuck you, fuck Texas, and those of us here in California are glad that assholes like you are willing to rot in a shithole like Texas.

I’d probably give the bear the brownies.
Earlier this week I made little turkey sandwiches for my crows.

We’re all technically Trumps boss, and he undermines a lot of us every day.

Is it undermining when the person you’re undermining has no clue what he’s talking about? Einstein wasn’t “undermining” physics and mathematics.

If Obama’s administration was amateur hour. What’s that make Trump’s? I am thinking what ever the political equivalent of this gif is.

:furiously searches for “Quasar Funk” in an Obama remarks transcript database:

I remember campaigning for Obama in 2008. I was selected to give a speech to introduce him at a rally, after which, he thanked me by name on television. After his rally, I met him backstage and had photos taken.

Never trust a man who offers to show you his ass cobra.

lololol the best part is that there is nothing “hit piece” about this. It’s literally a report on what happened last night. But I guess it’s not surprising for Trumpers to be offended by reality itself, is it.

Madison Bumgarner Is In Hell

My uncle has a Mercedes sprinter van camper variant and it is awesome. Smartly, he also has a home.

The device Evans spent three years laboring to invent is a $400 WiFi-enabled tabletop machine that squeezes juice ... out of a bag of Juicero-brand juice. It squeezes bags of juice. It is a juice press that squeezes the juice ... out of bags of juice. Bags ... with built-in spouts ... that are filled with juice. Juice…

“The groove of 9-5 was no life for me”

So many hashtags. I want to kick the fuck out of hashtags. If some-one is happy to sponsor me to do it then all the better.