Governor Sebelius, eh? Wasn’t he killed in Episode III, Revenge of the Sith?

Dr Larycia Hawkins: Victim of shitty academic job market, had to take job anywhere she could get one.

“The fact that I’m a professor of US History aids me in thinking clearly on the topic”

On a road across the country a few years back, the very first person my friend and I talked to in Kentucky replied, with absolutely no judgment whatsoever, “Are y’all gay or straight?” when we told her we were from California and asked for a good bar in the neighborhood. When we said “straight” she explained that…

sorry, thought you were upset that they didn’t try. i dont know this zipang. i will look into it.

your father in law is already drunk on Christmas EVE morning? that’s awesome.

Any list at all that doesn’t have Zlatan at #1 is horseshit, and I don’t even care if that list has anything to do with soccer.

Dude, they get swallowed by the time vortex as they’re steaming to head off the Japanese.

WAAAHH? I love that movie.

I’m sorry, who besides you holds this insane belief?

Yep. You nailed it. Finn and Rey were excellent. That is all.

What will really make it interesting is when the news finally breaks that the Dodgers landed Jose Fernandez.

I think the lesson to be learned here is this:

True, but you have to live in Chicago as opposed to SF. That’s like a 75% soul tax.

His WAR is like 80% based on his speed. He’s a nice hitter, but not a superstar hitter. That’s a lotta $$ for a good but not great player.

Have you seen the grass painting companies in the Southwest? ‘Cause people are painting their brown lawns green in the Southwest. Like, they’re hiring professionals.

SSSSHHHHHHH

That’s least endearing to you, east coast wanker.

I play Throw Golf (i just trademarked that) a couple times per year. You’ve gotta have a live, stretched out arm to even get through 9 holes without needing Tommy John.

You gotta Trader Joe’s nearby? Try their house brand scotch. I can’t remember which actual distillery makes it for them, but it’s hands down the best deal in alcohol history.