Chick-fil-A immediately halted sales to Northwestern when they found out the team would be showering together.

Too bad his chess struggles continue. Knight for king makes no damn sense.

Done.

No, these guys don't deserve this level of ridicule. I am sure that, as investigations progress, the level of ridicule will be increased to an appropriate level for such a deserving bunch of criminals who shit all over thousands of college athletes who do not represent a penal colony disguised as a university.

The opposite of the "fuck me" traditionally uttered by Jets fans.

Tallahassee PD has hired the UNC Ethics Center to conduct a training session.

Beaten down by years of automation, oppression, and uncaring non-foodies, artisanal flour was nearly pushed to the brink of extinction. With an iron will, and the help of all-world caliber dipshits, this little flour that could is on the comeback trail. Pulling itself up by its bootstraps and demonstrating an…

Funny, Cutler's kids will spell like this too after all kinds of shit infects their little brains.

Dear Dr. Boxill,

It is complete and total bullshit on my part. No harm intended.

Looks like someone found the last remaining Buddy Bianacaburger.

You have to email Drew Magary directly. The subject line must be "mayonnaise." He'll send you a link to register online.

Do you have a Deadspin Gold Account or a standard burner?

Answered two survey questions and got to read it. My internet karma must be strong.

Bullshit... that TV stopped looking for the Dew Tour after like 10 seconds.

If history teaches us a lesson, everybody gets wet in the presence of 2 naive crews.

There is no way Canseco and his stripper girlfriend aren't the first people arrested trying to film a "Bang Comet" episode.

You're not supposed to be playing with your phone during study hall.

MCFC: So you're new in the MLS? I can help you.

Coach D'Antoni, your period key is broken.