Feel kinda bad that they’re going to have to put you down when everyone leaves here. :/

As a Breaking Bad viewer, I know they need a polyethylene tote and not a bathtub.

That pass was blinder than a Hong Kong protestor shot in the eyes by the Chinese government.

Good Head, Boner Combine To Get FCUM All Over The Internet

Well, after seeing that the Rams traded Marcus Peters, you kind of suspected there was some tectonic shifting beginning to happen, but just didn’t know what, though I’ll guess the vibrations helped cured some of that ailing back problems.

This Rams team is going to implode within the next two years. 

I don’t have eyes in the back of my throat, champ.

I knew his ears were big but I didn’t remember them being THAT bi...oh shit, that’s someone else’s ear!

Harden’s just worried China will start pulling passports, which would be a huge bummer for him because he really likes to travel.

We made it clear to the entertainers’ managers that we expected a clean version of the show

Yeah but Watson just has the natural born ability to read a defense. That’s god-given.

You could tell they were Swiss because of the holes.

Welcome to America in 2019, where Arians claim to be helping a Gay but really just want to set them further back.

I can’t believe the Patriots went to all this trouble to beat the Dolphins.

A plague on both your houses

There is a bright side, I guess 

And like that, the laughs of a million Steelers fans were suddenly silenced.

America’s last great vice? What about voting against one’s self interest? That still seems to turn a lot of people on.

Yes, it’s Mike Mayock! The football sensation that’s sweeping the nation! Only $14.95 at participating stores! Get one today!

Lemme tell you something about this sport. The following national teams are the most successful: