Once sat next to a person trying to "covertly" roll a joint on the BART. Another time, this woman stole my box of leftovers and then complained about what was in it.

Also waiting 45 minutes in the rain for a bus that's supposed to arrive at a stop every ten minutes.

I'm very much over loud calls from dudes with Bluetooth headsets, or people playing music from their phone speakers on BART.

I have some scissors that would do it.

That last chef is more manly than 100 of me everyone.

FIFY

She does NOT make monogrammed coffee thermoses. Other people make them FOR her.

Some people know no pain. My mom is an operating room nurse. She looks like your average tiny Midwestern mom but she turns into a crazy badass at the sight of blood and guts. Once she broke her arm on a trip with my dad to a city a couple of hours away from their home, but she didn't want to waste time on a trip to a…

Surely if the internet bands together we can find her and celebrate her for the goddamn hero she is.

She won over my respect. The following is a 100% true story:

That was seriously impressive. I do wish the author had spelled out his acronyms - I had to look up both of 'em - but WHAT A GREAT STORY. Dayum!

I can spell "quesadilla" properly right up until I pass out.

I hope so. I love those comments.

"She tourniquets her arm at the elbow with an ice pick and towel, washes the blood off, puts the offending knife onto the gas fire, heats it to a nice brick red and...wait for it...cauterize her own arm."

I am calling it now: this is the story that gets the most whiny comments written about it. Just watch.

In her spare time, the chef from David's story enjoys Russian Roulette, eating glass, and arm-wrestling silverback gorillas during their mating season.

We need to get that last chef on here. She sounds great.

The only thing worse than calling yourself a "foodie" is calling yourself a "foody". I mean, at least agree on a spelling already, people whose hobby is eating food.

FREEZE PEACH! Yeah that's totally what that means.