Haven't you ever watched Jon Stewart or Colbert completely eviscerate something in a story, pissing yourself in laughter all the way through only for it to abruptly end after four minutes for a commercial break, after which they move on to another topic?

Nothing's more insufferable than the "Haaaay, maawwmm, kin Kevin Durant be in our Fraaayymily Plaaayyunnn?"

If there's anything the 30 For 30 series taught me, it's that Andres Escobar was shot after some douchebags gave him shit in a bar and it simply escalated outside... ¿no?

"-At least 20 color pages of advertising in daily newspapers
-Four weeks of advertising on at least six radio stations"

So much for "The Superbowl brings quadrillions in local sales tax to your city!"

Yeah, whenever I watch a Senegalese or Ghanian game, I'm awestruck at how those fuckers can beat these awesome cadences for 105 minutes straight (I presume they're doing it the whole time during halftime) .. I played snare in high school and my wrists were pretty damn exhausted after ten minutes of that shit...

Can't wait for Superbowl 59, as I'm sure they'll get real creative with LIX ...

Bzzt. Sorry, coach, your answer for Tennis of "At least 12" is wrongo. Question was "Rafael Nadal and Roger Federer are tied 6-6 in the final set. In order for the set and match to be completed they will play a tie-breaker. How many points will it take to decide a winner?" They will start a new tie-breaker 0-0 and…

But the question does state that they "will play a tie-breaker" so we toss aside the assumption that they're at a tournament that doesn't have a fifth set tiebreak — so, probably the US Open) so the correct answer is "first to 7, must win by two".

It sure wasn't very Nice..

Congratulations, I heard you won! .. Why the sour face?

Looks like I picked the wrong time to quit barbituates..

Looks like I picked the wrong time to quit barbituates..

I think you're right, though likely coupled with a comically loud gobbling sound.

Well, ya see, in about the 1880s a fellow invented what's known as the modern water-flush toilet. Spooged tissue goes in, and whirlpools the fuck out of your sight with the easy flick of a lever. C'mon, man, what would Martha Stewart think about you having a sticky hand that's got both your jack and saliva on it,…

Just curious about why the "cleanup" isn't already a cinch since most people jack into a tissue or some such.... it seems like, in order for you to eat it, you'd have to catch the stuff in, say, a cup (or your bare hands?) and then transfer it to your mouth. How is that easier than spooging into a freakin' tissue?

In Japan (1998), I was fucking obsessed with McDonalds' McCurry Burger, it was the shit; must've had like six of them during that trip. I was trying to conscious of not giving locals the impression that visiting Americans gravitate towards American fast-food shit food, but that thing was damn good, and was like the…

Y'all haters say what you will, but I betcha your state's football games don't serve this veritable feast of the Gods...

"Two people, a head driver and co-driver were in the cab at the time, according to Gaffney Police Chief Rick Turner,"

"We can make a lot of assumptions and guesses about why someone in their 30s would want to go back to high school. "