Disdain is the only reply that batshit deserves.

Please, you’ll offend this person’s delicate sensibilities. Instead of “tax,” you should say “arbitrary wealth confiscation.”

Do I find his position on abortion utterly insane? Yea, pretty much. [...] There’s a huge difference between suggesting there should be extrajudicial murders of women who have had an abortion versus enacting policy making abortion a capital offense.

I didn’t learn the truth until I figured out that McCoy was the only doctor on Star Trek.

Farting on a bike is hard. Farting in an aggressive areodynamic cycling position is even harder. Cycling is one of the most fart-repressing sports. Finally being capable of farting again after riding is a great relief but takes an hour or so after finishing even a relatively short ride. Those poor pro riders, I…

The sky in D.C. on the morning of the Easter Egg Roll was oppressively white.

As a child, I was very disappointed to find that the book by Dr. Spock on my mother’s bookshelf did not have one mention of the Vulcan nerve pinch.

til

Do we know what the other banned words and phrases are? I’d much rather hear a whole group of jaunty dillydillies than one loud drunk 38-year-old frat bro yelling “GET IN THE HOLE!” at every single swing.

Seventh Day Adventists? How will that help?

+1. Brutal, but Good.

do not patronize this duckling with your pity unless you, too, are capable of a vertical leap more than twice your height

With one hand is one thing, but with one hand and those nails? I would fall for that bar bet every time.

“Do you know yet, or what?” is the best line of medieval poetry I’ll read today.

Hee hee, “basketball match.” Can’t take him seriously after that!

-1 for comment/username dissonance

The problem with the public is that they don’t know how to behave in public.

There lies a beef-flipping bot

This is why I’m way more afraid of white American terrorists than anything outside of climate change. A cornered animal is very dangerous.

“If OJ wasn’t famous he’d be in jail right now. If OJ drove a bus, he wouldn’t even be OJ. He’d be Orenthal the bus-driving murderer.”